5 strategies to turn difficult co-workers into accomplishments
If you're like most people, you "deal" with difficult co-workers by trying to avoid them as much as possible.
But every time you hide in the shadows as the Difficult One comes around the corner, you miss another opportunity to enhance your career.
"Pretend you're leaving your job," says Sandra Crowe, author of Since Strangling Isn't an Option. "When you prepare your résumé for your next position, you'll list all your achievements. The way you overcame your problems with your difficult person can certainly be counted as an asset."
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So, with career enhancement in mind, here is Crowe's five-step plan for turning a pain-in-the-neck into another star on your permanent record:
1. Find something likable about the person. Once you start hating something about someone, everything about him becomes deplorable. But if you find something redeeming—a great sense of humor or dedication to volunteer work—you can begin to see the negative trait as only a fraction of the entire person.
2. Engage your empathy. Try to understand the circumstances behind why the person acts the way he does. Examples: Does he turn in work late because he's already carrying an unreasonably large workload? Does he "ignore instruction" because he's eager to show off his own ideas and approaches?
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3. Ask "Why does this bother me so much?" Is the difficult person simply mirroring one of your own habits that you hate? Do his actions remind you of someone or a situation in your past that drove you nuts? This may help you separate the offensive behavior from the person.
4. Look for subtle changes in behavior. Stay open to the person's attempts to change the dynamics between you. Examples: Asking for your opinion on something, helping you out in a pinch or regaling you with a funny story may all be the person's ways of apologizing to you.
5. Examine and improve your own behavior toward the difficult person. Do you speak curtly, avoid eye contact or speak unflatteringly to other co-workers? Those behaviors only drive the wedge between you two deeper — and paint you as inflexible and unforgiving.
And that will not look good on your résumé.
How to Handle Toxic Co-Workers
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